your *free* dose of liz :: kosovo

The lecture of a lifetime

This very inspiring lecture is really worth reading, but if you're strapped for time, watch the video below for some life lessons from a Carnegie Mellon Professor who has Pancreatic Cancer, with only months left to live.

Very Inspiring.

Is the sky gray, or is it me?

Here in London, the sky is gray. The thing is, it hasn't all been gray since I've arrived. I've seen the sun far more than most people probably do in their first week of living here, and it's only rained once. So I'm thinking maybe it's me.

There have been so many moves over the past year(s), and it's true that some of them I haven't been all that excited about. When my mind goes to the place that tells me that it just might not work out for me here, I try to remember all those difficult moments in Kosovo, Salzburg, even in Brussels and Amsterdam at times.  I pulled out of those moments and found something to love about each and everyplace that I've lived.  But this somehow seems ... different.

This is the most 'American' city I've lived in since Washington DC. People speak my language, there is an abundance of diversity and a fabulous yoga studio to frequent. The public transport isn't even that bad. But for the past week, I've had this knot in my chest that I'm struggling to let go of. What is it? Fear - of the unknown, of failure, of dependency. Fear of not being true to myself because of the pressure to make money to survive here.

I'm in that unsafe zone that fuels insecurity and self-doubt. This is my challenge, to see this experience as my teacher; to learn from the feelings that rise up being in this new environment; to become aware of those people around me, struggling in their own way, and to do whatever I can to uplift their lives.

I feel better already.

Food Karma Alert

This blog comes from a Jivamukti student in Washington DC who wanted to use his background in Science/Chemicals for good, not evil. Great idea!

Thanks to Cory for sharing all that he knows with us, and for opening his heart, being brave and being the change he wants to see in the world.

Arrival in London

After months of preparation and weeks of packing, moving, unpacking (start cycle again here), X and I have finally arrived in London. We are staying at friend Paul's place, a sort of interesting transition stay in a building he recently bought with several small offices and one apartment on the top floor. During the day, the three businesses (two animation studios and a music producer) carry on their business behind closed doors, but at night, we are in the building all alone.

The apartment itself is charming with plenty of space for a one bedroom, and we have the use of the second floor which Paul has been using as his 'office'. It is here that I (thank you thank you god of WiFi) have found a good, free internet connection.

One of the animation studios is home to the creator of 'The Snowman' and 'Father Christmas', I guess very big animated hits in the UK, so in addition to a ceramic plaque outside the building, we also have a 'the Snowman' trashcan, soap holder, mugs and wine glasses in our apartment. I'm just waiting for it to snow to throw a theme party.

Yesterday felt surreal, walking around in what will become my new home, listening to all the english accents, realizing that any material item I could ever want or need is right at my fingertips, should I have the money to pay for it. We spent over an hour at the Sainsbury's flabbergasted by the choice and the quality of the food. I guess after Kosovo our standards are pretty low.

Next on the agenda for me is to find work. I'm starting to feel the pinch of my wallet having not had paid work since June. X will be working again starting Monday but me, I'm not even sure what I have to do yet to work legally.

I hope to get a new UK mobile number in the next day or so to be reachable, and also a replacement camera...if I can afford it :-)

Yoga, yoga and more yoga (with a bit of thai massage)

A gift from the universe, it turns out that Danny Paradise is in town this weekend in Amsterdam, so my days here have mainly been about doing yoga, practicing thai massage, and getting some errands done and seeing friends in between.

Amsterdam has a special place in my heart. When I reconnect with my bike that's been standing in the rain all these months waiting for me to return it's like I'm back together with an old pal. And seeing all these wonderful friends in relaxed circumstances one after the other...well, I could just never leave.

But helaas, London awaits, and the next week will again be filled with moving and lifting boxes, packing and repacking. Not such a big deal since I'll be back in Amsterdam in October again...but well, it's tiring, sniffing cardboard boxes all day.

Been awhile, back in Amsterdam

After 6 weeks of travel in the Balkans, X and I have moved all our things back to Belgium and are awaiting our move to London.

It's nice to the beautiful city spaces in Amsterdam and Brussels again, and especially inspiring to see clean, green fields of grass and forests. As I type this, the window washers have just dropped from above to clean my friend's windows as I listen to the drilling of housing development projects near by. Still, there is a sense of calm and peace here unlike I've had in a long time.

These next days are administration - bill paying and moving boxes and making contact with some people.

I'm going to buy a new camera in these next days. Hooray!